Monday, 24 October 2016

Learning Human

Bluey here,

I think I get it! You guys I mean. I finally get why Dr IPCC, Dr Steffen and Nurse Mackay can't stop talking about humans, especially in relation to my health concerns, aka my 'planetary boundaries'.


As I operate on larger timescales than 2050 years, getting my head around the below video was challenging, but it provided a good starting point. It also contained a figure I can more readily relate to. In years, 10 billion is a little under my anticipated life expectancy.

Ok, there's a lot of you Homo sapiens, you like procreating and you enjoy consuming my natural resources. That's fine but I needed to find out more—something substantial, but not too substantial. Books, yes, but not big boring books.

Human History and Energy

I went for Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything" because Mars recommended it. While it read suspiciously like a personal biography, it also contextualised humans, opening my eyes to their perspective, and hopefully broadening my planetary one.

Bryson’s masterpiece on humans, our universe and everything in between did what it said, it put nearly everything into perspective. He reminded me, and everyone else, of the majesty of me (ok, not me, mainly our cosmos and life itself). It inspired me to delve deeper.

Exploring the aspect of humans most relevant to me—their insatiable appetite for energy—was next. Daniel Yergin's "The Prize", not only revealed details of the human obsession with my organic deposits (the ones stored beneath my skin), 'fossil fuels' as they term them, it also helped me come to terms with their initial lack of awareness regarding the connection between GHG emissions and my temperature. It also revealed something else that could be equally worrying for my future well-being: 'human power struggles' and 'nuclear proliferation', but that's another story.

Bryson and Yergin revealed much, but I had an important task still to satisfy; getting to the bottom of a term Dr Steffen used in my initial consultation, but which I'd not properly understood.

The Anthropocene

My body has been through multiple 'epochs' since I coalesced into being around 4.5 billion years ago. Epochs are to me as years are to humans, 'eras' like human decades and 'eons' like childhood, middle-age etc. Unlike human years though, epochs are not uniform; they vary depending on geological 'signals'.

Source: International Commission on Stratigraphy

According to Dr Steffen, my current (official) epoch, the Holocene (11,700 years BP) has already moved unofficially into the Anthropocene. The human signs are "everywhere" he says; the only contention amongst his colleagues is seemingly not if it's happened, but when it happened.

For me, this temporal triviality—Dr Steffen: 1945-1950 (artificial radionuclides), Dr Cruetzen Stoemer: ~1750-1800 (elevated CO2 and CH4 concentrations from the Industrial Revolution), Dr Ruddiman Thomson: 8000-5000 years BP (elevated CO2 and CH4 concentrations from forest clearance / rice irrigation respectively) and Dr Certeni Scalenghe: ~11,700 BP ('Holocene as Anthropocene')—does little more but reinforce a much more important point. Humans are my current epoch.

Source: National Geographic

Having spent two days learning human, I've come to a preliminary conclusion that this epoch might not last all that long for them, but from a personal perspective, I'll need to brace myself for longer-lasting consequences.

Yours for awhile,


  1. Hey Bluey, sorry to hear you haven't been feeling so well.
    I'm Iphos, currently living around stellar remnants on the Sunflower Galaxy. I've been watching slices of your life since...oh wow, trilobites decided they had enough and fossilised themselves because they knew they'd have their 15M years of fame, once rediscovered by some bloke called David Attenborough (they wanted to "live forever" and could foresee the future through intraspace radiation).

    After you were hit by that golf ball I moved around a bit - I do miss dinos, don't you? I particularly liked feathered ones and they were cute, and fun to watch.
    Lately I have been looking into new sources of entertainment and someone recommended you as a source of "shonky, preposterous microorganism high drama". I caught up with your history, so what's all this human business? They're such divas, trying to spread all over you, using all your resources, thinking they own you... don't you ever feel like farting all over them and getting rid of them? Aren't you due an explosion in that park "of theirs", Yellowstone or something? It would be great to see some basaltic magma activity, just sayin'...

  2. Iphos, it must be a few billion years since I heard from you! Yes, I miss the dinos, their longevity and persistence were particularly impressive but you never know, they could be back in a different form in the future. Don't you worry about the 'human business'; all under control here. Just be weary if they ever come calling though. And no, I would never voluntarily do that! They don't get to live as long as me anyhow, so I'll let them be! How are you for life these days? I've had a pretty good run since my cambrian explosion...